My mom was a garage sale person, save money. Come on in to the garage sale, you might find a shirt. She'd get in that garage sale and point stuff out to you. There's a good fork for a nickel. Yeah, that's beautiful. It's a little high. If it were three cents I'd snap it up.
Quotes and Jokes by Louie Anderson
Top 15 Quotes (out of 22)
I felt ashamed for what I had done. I don't have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldn't pawn this off on anybody. I'm sorry it happened. And I hurt people.
Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book.
After 34 years, I feel like I did when I was starting out. I feel excited and feel I've never been better doing what I do.
We were on welfare when we were kids. Thanks for reminding me of that.
A real estate closer. Oh, what's that? I'm a real estate opener. What is a real estate closer? You mean at the end where you've got to sign all those papers?
I'm going to be talking about food, being fat, and being over 50 - all the 'F' words.
I live in California, the worst place in the world for fat people. There are three of us. They have us on eight-hour shifts, so it works out.
I have a cousin Ernie who buys stuff. He's got a big snowblower that's actually the biggest snowblower you can buy, with a remote control, so he doesn't even have to go outside. He's got the microwave and a satellite dish, it's all in one. He cooks and watches at the same time.
My inspiration is coming more and more from the way I feel and the gratitude I feel. The older you get the more humility you have.
My first words were "Seconds, please". Most kids in kindergarten napped on a little rug. I had a braided 9x12.
Minnesotans really think they run the whole world, I love that.
I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated.
Credit-card debt and day trading-I feel like Michael Corleone in Godfather III, just when I think out, they pull me back in.
I've been in Vegas. That's where you get into the money thing. Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That's the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500 and refuse to quit.