Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1209
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
Few things are more negative than thinking positive for no reason.
Raccoons don't need to do poppers in order to come while they're having anonymous same-sex interludes in a highway rest area.
It's hard to dance if you just your lost wallet. "Whoa! Where's my wallet? But, hey this song is funky."
Where is the good will in the thought, "I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?"
Have you see the deer heads on the walls of bars? They have the silly party hats on. Sunglasses, streamers around their necks. Those are the ones I really feel sorry for, because obviously they were at a party having a good time…
Like many indelible family memories, carving a pumpkin begins with someone grabbing a really sharp knife.
You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.
Wikipedia celebrates its 12th birthday today. Of course, I have no idea if it’s true. I read it on Wikipedia.
You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.