Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 227
Babies awaken slightly disoriented, with a look that's half Angel and half Lost Tourist.
What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate.
Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!
So I was eating this cereal, and I had all these questions and comments. Luckily there was a number on the box. So I called, and said, ‘I have a question: Is this cereal as delicious as I think it is?' And I have a comment: 'yes'.
Those are adult magazines. Anybody can own them. It doesn't prove the charge.
The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.
Comedy can be, especially in a writer's room, really aggressive, kind of a very male-dominated room, and it would be hard for women. It's not a nurturing place. It's not like a lot of women are going to say, I can't wait to live that lifestyle and be in a writer's room until 2 or 3 a.m.
My dad invented road rage. He wasn't the first guy to get mad in the car, but he was first guy to get mad enough to make the paper.
I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
When they made 90210, there were people outside of Beverly Hills who went, Oooooh! But you don't go Oooooh! when you're in there. You're worried about passing the Spanish test.
Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.
I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
When Mrs. Clinton ran for office, she promised economic growth across New York state, to bring in more than 200,000 jobs, ... She has not. We have lost jobs to outsourcing and globalization and to sending our jobs and industries to foreign countries.