Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 314
The worst thing about e-mail is that you can’t interrupt the other person. You have to read the whole thing and then e-mail them back, pointing out all their mistakes and faulty assumptions. It’s frustrating and it’s time-consuming. God bless phone calls.
The Pope is guarded by the Swiss guard who stand proudly in pajamas and silly hats.
You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
Since the bus, a lot of people go to Florida who wouldn't if they had to hire a driver.
My girlfriend always laughs during sex-no matter what she's reading.
There's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor?
If we can teach sign language to monkeys, then shouldn't deaf people be awesome at gymnastics?
Without Brett Favre, they wouldn’t have Brett Favre, and that’s what that’s all about.
From now on, we`re home schooling you. Whatever we don`t know, you don`t know. When did the Korean War start? I don`t know, and neither do you!
In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
Gay pride's beautiful. If somebody needs to be expressing that, then it's a positive thing.