Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 431
We did it for nine years, No. 1, and the Fox Children's Network moved it into a different direction, of the Power Rangers and other stuff.
I was the voice of Bobby. So while I was doing the show, I was also a father. It did reflect how I tried to handle things in my own home.
My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death.
I've decided to hire a 'food taster', not because I think anyone is trying to kill me, but because I want to make sure it's not to salty.
I talk to myself a lot. That bothers some people because I use a megaphone.
If you judge a person by the company they keep, then I'm retarded.
I asked my girlfriend if she ever had sex with a woman. She said no... Then she tried it... Now she's gone.
Enjoy your popcorn and enjoy the jokes. It's just a movie, so have fun!
My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.
You can become famous but you can't become unfamous. You can become infamous but not unfamous.
And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and... filled with stuffing.
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
How do we help the church get their respect back? I have a plan: pedophile crucifixions.