Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 631
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
We can't agree on religion and guns and economics and sadly civil rights but if the wealthy won't chip in for the needy we are done.
Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often.
I generally grow this beard out around Christmas. Then, I like to go to malls dressed as Jesus, and what I do is generally walk through the mall, just saying, 'No, no, this wasn't what it was supposed to be about, people.' But if there's a Santa at the mall, I'll walk right up to him and I'll go, 'Listen, fat man, you're just a clown at my birthday party.'
I read comic books but I don’t believe in them. Like if somebody said to me, “Hey Myq, who would win in a fight, Thor or Superman?” I’d say, “I don’t know who would would win that fight my friendless friend. But I do know who would win in a fight between you and anyone you went to high school with.”
I just staunchly bought one frame during a two-for-one frame sale and barely left the store alive.
I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.
That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
When I was a kid my family said having feelings was an act of treason.
I guess in my house when I was growing up, I was comfortable trying to be funny. And my dad, of course, it bugged him sometimes. He was trying to rest, and I was constantly trying to say something stupid to get a reaction. But I like doing these movies. You can do it in front of the camera and then it's over. I don't have to worry about being in front of too many people.