Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 692
The saddest day in Pixar history was when some guy said ‘get Larry the Cable Guy on the phone.
The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
We show-ed a lot of intensity on defense early. But we missed one of our point guards who is the spark for our defense.
Why do we need another station where everyone has a gun? We already have BET.
Of course, in Los Angeles, everything is based on driving, even the killings. In New York, most people don't have cars, so if you want to kill a person, you have to take the subway to their house. And sometimes on the way, the train is delayed and you get impatient, so you have to kill someone on the subway. That's why there are so many subway murders; no one has a car.
When a couch potato is sliced up and then deep fried that is couch french fries.
It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
I'm a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge.
I felt like high school for me was like a big whirlpool of me trying to figure out what was OK for me to do.
I have the greatest respect for your culture; I think you guys do it properly. You have your three or four kids and then you slow down so you can enjoy your late teens.
Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.
A woman in Buffalo set a new world record for eating 183 buffalo wings. I don’t think there will be a second date.
Gays are now allowed to serve openly in the military. So maybe our next war could be a musical.
Blood doesn't make you family. Hell, an only child can bleed. It's the sharing of pain that makes you family. 'Cause, you can't really love a brother or sister until you know that they're as scarred and broken as you are. And, hey, if you grow up with a father like mine and you aren't at least a little scarred and broken, well then, that's not your father. You were spawned by an entirely different guy.