Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 736
I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.
I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.
You might be a redneck if you go to the family reunion to meet women.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'.
I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear - I'm not mad at anybody - not anymore.
In the original draft I was 27 and Peter was 55 in the script. That's not the same as a guy in his 40s and a dad in the end of his 70s. It's a different point in both our lives.
I'm trying to do things I have never done. Like I recently went to 3 different ballets. And I loved trying to learn how to like those a little bit.
In answer to the question, "Why do they hate us?" Al Queda today admitted it's those guys who wear a scarf with just a t-shirt.
A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
Are a lot of eight year olds that stressed? Do we got a lot of eight year old kids coming home from school going, “Oh, man, my day today. I could not make a cursive S to save my life.”
I loved Stephen Wright, and I loved Mitch Hedberg, but they seemed like geniuses you could never emulate. You'd just be ripping them off.