Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 943
‘I’m a gangsta, and gangstas don’t ask questions.’…yes they do ask questions! I thought that was a main point of being a gangster…’Hey, muthafucka, where’s my money??’ that’s a question…”Do you want to die tonight??’ that’s a question too…’what?what?’ That’s two questions.
These days, young people watch TV on smartphones and computers. Young people with an actual TV set are harder to find than a picture of Anthony Weiner with his clothes on.
I think there's too much mult-tasking going on. I think people need to quiet down and focus and be still more.
You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect.
The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith.
A war is going to destroy our economy even further. It's going to be a threefold humanitarian disaster.
If Harry Potter's so magical, why can’t he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldn't need a broomstick to cling onto.
Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
It's easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.
Venus de Milo’s mother, who once said to Venus, "You never call me. Can’t you pick up a phone?" Never got a dinner!
Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently...
When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now... once he opened the car door for me in the last four years - we were on the freeway at the time.