Quotes & Jokes about Divorce / page 4

My parents got divorced. Early and ugly. My mum was nuts so I lived with my dad. We used to play a father/son games. Pin the blame on me, rock, paper, get me another beer, casino night.

My friend has been enjoying the craziest sex life since he got a divorce from his sister.

Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.

Yeah, I’ve been a little down. Totally natural. I’m getting a divorce, but now I’m ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.

Hulk Hogan’s wife has filed for divorce. This is the most devastating breakup since Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. And then Pam Anderson and Kid Rock. And soon, Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon.

When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'

My dad also survived five divorces, and the women he married cleaned his ass out every time. I used to think my dad got divorced because he wanted new furniture. At one point in my life, all we had left was a wooden box, a 12" black-and-white TV, and a four-man rubber raft for a couch. And yet, I was the coolest kid in third grade. "Mom, can we have a sleepover in Christopher Titus' house? They have a raft in the living room! We can row to breakfast in the morning. I can actually be Captain Crunch!"

Why are all the home-ec teachers divorced?

He gives his wife something to look forward to - a divorce.

When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out.

When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.'

My parents didn't want to get divorced until they passed away.

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.