Quotes & Jokes about Dogs / page 5

I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time... they're gone.

It’s the only state in the country where you can stand on your front porch and actually watch your dog run away for three days.

My mom took me to a dog show and I won!

You might be a redneck if you bring your dog to work with you.

Picasso, he should have been a taxidermist! “I’ve done your dog. It’s got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you think of that?” “Fido looks a bit weird.”

What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it’s a pit bull, you say, “You better let him finish.”

I can kill a dog in six ways. Five of them are throwing missiles at it.

Finding my dog's g spot is taking way longer than I would care to admit.

I saw a dog wearing a sweater and I thought that looked ridiculous 'cause dogs don't have arms. If you're going to put clothes on the dog, you should put two pairs of pants on it.

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

My dogs love me. Of course, by "love" I mean "poop" and by "me" I mean "everywhere".

Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.

You might be a redneck if your dog passes gas and you claim it.

When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said "rabies". She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets… I thought she’d been bitten by a Great Dane.