Quotes & Jokes about Dogs / page 6
Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.
When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said "rabies". She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets… I thought she’d been bitten by a Great Dane.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Going to get a dog and name him, "I don't want to live anymore", then walk around calling him.
I discovered two very important facts that day - Number one: The springs will pull the hair out of your legs, and Number two: the dog doesn't like to bounce.
Another thing I take issue with are people who take their dogs on "play dates," or even worse, people who choose to dress their dogs up in outfits better suited for homosexuals participating in a gay pride parade. Dog costumes are right up there with something else I find particularly offensive: sweater vests.
You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
Get a good dog. We have not picked up food in the kitchen in 15 years.
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
It’s like I’m not even camping. This is actually a dog couch, but it’s super comfortable.
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.