Quotes & Jokes about Kids / page 2
Your kids should not affect my life at all, but they do; I have to pay for HBO just to hear a comedian say "fuck" to protect your kids.
A message to parents who think legalizing weed will make their kids want to try it: they will anyway.
"It's the violence in the media that's the problem..." No, the problem is a lot of your kids are dicks and you won't do shit about it.
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
My father never cheated on my mother. He used to cheat on me. He used to pick other kids after school. Take them to the zoo. Take them to play ball. One day he came to me. He says, "Look I got to level with you. I met another kid."
I would like to give these kids a good home. In fact, there's one a few miles away from here...
Kids will spend $500 on sneakers but won`t spend $200 on "Hooked-on-Phonics".
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
You know you're getting old when kids start to dress like you used to and movies are made about your teen life.
Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say ‘Thank you’ cause drugs are very expensive.
Americans are not gonna conserve. We're not gonna shift to smaller cars. We can't - we have big, fat kids.
I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have multiple personalities.