Quotes & Jokes about Parents / page 3

My parents had very strict rules for me. Rules like, I couldn't be home until a certain hour.

My parents just didn't like me. Till I was 9, my mother was trying to get an abortion. That sticks with you. That hurts. She said to her doctor, 'Is there any possible way to get rid of this thing?'

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I bought my parents a home before they died, and they got to see that I was going to be all right. They always thought I would go someplace.

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.

I was lying, of course: that's what parents do best.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.

My parents were very protective of me. Whenever I went to cross the street, they would get very excited and start making bets.

Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.

I wanted to give the house back to the parents.

I love gay and lesbian parents. But I think we need a law that says lesbians and gay men have to raise their children together. This way, the kids would not only know how to build bookshelves, but they'd also instinctively know how to decorate them.

The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, "Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?" He's like, "I hope you die first."