Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1035
It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.
The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.
If you have to work at feeling lust towards your significant other maybe it is time to get a day job.
When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
If we’re friends with someone and attracted to them, we’re going to want to take it further.
Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?
You may be a redneck if... you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
I feel so fortunate to be one of the lucky ones who is so grateful and appreciative to know such great synonyms for thankful.
Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
(On his long-term goals.) I want to have more courage, conquer my fear of lightning and, by my 40th birthday, be drinking 50% less of my current alcohol consumption. I also want to meet Barack Obama, or take significant steps to getting into Outer Space.
Every day, the hummingbird eats its own weight in food. You may wonder how it weighs the food. It doesn't. It just eats another hummingbird.
If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like "Woah, this house is amazing."