Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1044

To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction.

Passover is a ritual dinner where we talk about the story of the exodus of the Jews out of Egypt. And we have a service and a meal. Then there’s the sacrifice of a live Christian baby and dessert. My family doesn’t do that, but orthodox…

It doesn't have to be that way.

I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman.'

It's the inevitable consummation of this largely manufactured battle between a man who makes people laugh for a living and whatever people think I do. In a televised, two-part hatefuck that is, by all measure, bound to dissapoint anyone that's been following it. Catch the fever!

Don't let's someone walk all over you unless you're into that kind of thing.

Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.

I wonder what the word for dots looks like in Braille.

The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

No one who has had “Taps” played for them has ever been able to hear it.

The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.

If you have to work at feeling lust towards your significant other maybe it is time to get a day job.

My secret to staying young: Having no sense of time.

When we’re picking someone who we want to spend a lot of time with, even perhaps for the rest of our lives, we generally try to pick someone who likes to do the things we like to do.