Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1068
I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it.
I am often the one they call “You,” but I am no more “You” than you. I am me. And yet I am more “Me” than you are me or can ever be.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
You might be a redneck if you burn your front yard rather than mow it.
Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor, I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.
But there was something really serendipitous that was happening, with some kind of energy that things would ultimately just work out, sometimes better than when you plan.
People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.
You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
You might be a redneck if your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.
On sex later on in a relationship: "I have this! Are you interested?"