Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1069
You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
You might be a redneck if your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.
The nature of comedy is "just do it". But I think what's interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it's just saying what's wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts could really help. He's basically for people who want to vote for Bush but don't think Bush is Jewish enough.
I may even show up behind the camera. I love to put things together; I love to give direction. I have a great eye for pace.
It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
Did you know that the spunge is the household-tool with the most bacteria? See, single guys know this. "Honey, I would like to wash the dishes, but it's just not hygienic."
Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.
Light travels faster than sound. Isn't that why people appear bright before you hear them speak?
Suicide is the number one killer of a person who is in a boat and happens to be passing under a bridge at the wrong time.