Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1159
Well, comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.
It's something that occurs to me many times in my movies. They can often be treated comically or dramatically, and I usually opt to treat them comically. But it occurred to me that you could get a story and you could fool around with it both ways.
I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed'.
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.
My grandparents had a satellite dish. They were the first ones, like, in 1961. It was like a Jewish one: it picked up problems from other families.
For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there.
I can't wait for the next fad though, and I predict it's going to be Pennsylvania dutch culture, very Amish. It's going to be bonnets and butter churns.
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
You might be a redneck if you've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what’s theirs, meet the people, because they’re really, really, bafoons.
Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism.
A guy recently came up to me and said, "Bob, you are the shit." I said "Thank you for adding the word 'the.'"