Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1217
I saw a girl outside - had the biggest fake titties I've ever seen in my life. They were this big, with a half top with stuff written on the shirt, and I couldn't help but look at it. She got mad at me. She goes, 'What are you looking at?' I was like, 'Hey, if I stuff a balloon in my pants and paint a bulls eye on it, you might take a second freakin' peek, weirdo.'
Why should I learn English? I'm never going to England. Shah, pffff, ur, doy.
I'd deeply apologize to Richard Lewis for my offensive slurs to myself.
People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness.
As we know, for centuries Rome regarded the Open Hot Turkey Sandwich as the height of licentiousness.
The problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.". "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat!!"! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
The Middle East is America's 'champagne room'. No matter how much you spend, you will still never get what you want.