Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1235
No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas.
So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?".
The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.
I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk.
I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.
The best part of living in constant terror is you always have a place to live.
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!
You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.
Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. And monkeys do too… if they have a gun.
In Los Angeles on Black Friday, a woman pepper sprayed Wal-Mart shoppers who tried to cut in line. The police acted fast by immediately hiring her to get rid of peaceful protesters outside banking institutions all across the United States.
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.