Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1244
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.
Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are woman that you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place?
Climate change is a serious problem. We all need to do what we can. Unless that means I’ve got to change stuff. Then I’m not doing it.
She quarreled with the nanny and accused her of brushing Misha's teeth sideways rather than up and down.
Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!
You might be a redneck if your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
I sometimes close my eyes during a show because I have drawn a picture of an audience enjoying the show more on the back of my eyelids.
My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
I’ll tell you what I don’t like about Christmas office parties: looking for a new job afterward.
My mother, she never breastfed me. She told me she liked me as a friend.