Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 220
Broccoli? Newman, you wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep-fried in chocolate sauce!
I suffer from two phobias: 1) Phobia-Phobia, the fear that you're unable to get scared, and 2) Xylophataquieopiaphobia, the fear of not pronouncing words correctly.
If I'm a game show host, will someone buy a ticket to see me do standup? To do a dramatic role in a movie?
Allow me to expose my colon once again. The ramification inflicted on the incision placed within the Fallopian cavities serves to be holistic taken from the Latin word "jalapeno".
We all want something else other than what we have and don't realize what you got works. It works. It does work. You gotta work. Marriage is work. Marriage is a career. It's not an adventure.
The world's gone crazy. You got people mad that we got a black president, but he's half white. We claimed our half; y'all get yours. There's some for everybody. He's got some for everybody.
Just want to do something special, for all the ladies of the world, and the girls... Carribean... Parisian... Bolivian... Eastern Indochinian... Reptilian... Presbyterian.
The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
This family was raised Catholic and I think there are still some members of the family who are practising Catholics, while others are recovering Catholics! That, to me, is a real part of America and we wanted to represent that.
Don't eat a mushroom stem and see colors; eat the whole bag and see God one time in your life.
The consumer mentality - we like something, what other flavor does it come in? We like that TV show, does it come in a book form? Does it come in a capsule? How about a soup?
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.