Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 292
You might be a redneck if... you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
If your mother still drives you to school, you are not a gangster, pull your pants up!
The devil is not abroad at night in the form of a cat or a wolf or any other animal. He lives eternally in the hearts of men.
I'm actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having a man around the house...
From now on, we`re home schooling you. Whatever we don`t know, you don`t know. When did the Korean War start? I don`t know, and neither do you!
This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight...one, from...here to there. We'll be cruising at a height of ten feet, going up to twelve and a half feet if we see anything big. And our copilot today is a flask of coffee.
Despite a primitive brain, the octopus possesses an intricate system that helps it decide which tentacle to masturbate with.
6th grade. My dog, Katie, is hit by a car and killed. A mean girl during recess says it committed suicide because it didn't love me. I cry and swear revenge on mankind.
One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
I've come here tonight to San Jose, the only city in this nation smart enough to put its airport downtown where nobody cares.