Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 300
You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, 'You know what? We don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.'
My grandmother instilled in me a toughness that comes with survival. She was a tough lady and never truly enjoyed her life. She would always worry about things and I would tell her that it wasn’t going to get her anywhere and it didn’t. I wasn’t even that smart back then, but I knew that worrying about everyone else wasn’t good for her health. As Latinos, we stress and worry so much about the future when the future is today. As long as we protect what’s good in our lives, we will be all right.
The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
I sat down and wrote some jokes and went to the talent show, got up on stage, fell in love with it and never turned back.
Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them.
I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.
Frankly, I'm in shock. I just can't believe it... even though I had every reason to expect it.
People who are homeless, they're not all addicts. A lot of times, they're just people who, through something like losing their job or losing someone in their life, ended up on the streets. So much of our time is spent in cars that sometimes you need to look out of those windows. And you see that a dollar, 50 cents, whatever you have, may not mean much to you, but it means everything to people who are hungry and who are in need.
Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.
The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things... after the weather.