Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 375
It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the "Rich Man, Poor Man" thing.
I had left home like all Jewish girls in order to eat pork and take birth control pills. When I first shared an intimate evening with my husband I was swept away by the passion (so dormant inside myself) of a long and tortured existence. The physical cravings I had tried so hard to deny finally and ultimately sated... but enough about the pork.
I lost 20 pounds - actually, I lost 25 pounds, but then I gained 5 back because I was too skinny. I didn`t change what I ate, I just started eating smaller portions. And I cut out bread - that`s the real killer, because I was reaching in and eating half a loaf before dinner arrived. All you have to do is that, and then you can drink all you want.
I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything.
I don’t know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.
I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
It takes 15,000 nuts to hold a car together, but only one to spread it all over the highway.
I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.
Jesus is a powerful guy in Hollywood. Not quite as powerful as Vin Diesel, but powerful.
Hello! Welcome to "Cooking That Has Nothing To Do With Anyone's Actual Life." Today we're making a very complicated recipe, using ingredients you don't have, utensils you've never heard of, in a kitchen bigger than your whole bloody house!