Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 512
Kathy Bates is sexy. It's partly because of her talent, but she's got a great face, and a great laugh.
Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness, it's just been a really great thing in my life.
I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there.
I was at the airport trying to pick up my mother. Well, it was dark in that lounge...
As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.
I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming.
Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!
That shit [religion] was going on all over the planet. They would tell them about sky cookies, or sky pie, or sky baklava. And as each of these civilizations grew, they built ships; they'd go visit each other, and the one guy would walk off the boat and go,'Hey, did you hear the good news about the sky baklava?' and the first guy went,'It's CAKE, motherfucker! You're dead!'
No, even when you're making fun of people in this business, they want to take credit for it. That's how big the egos are.
Now we have hands-free phones, so you can focus on the thing you're really supposed to be doing ... chances are, if you need both of your hands to do something, your brain should be in on it too.
We are not warriors in anyone's army. And that is not trying to be self-deprecating. I'm proud of what we do. I really like these two shows. I like making 'em. I like watching them. I'm really proud of them. But I understand their place. I don't view us as people who lead social movements.
I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.