Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 757
Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
But the only ramifications were, like, the kind of bigoted right-wing assault and pretend anger, partisan anger, that came from some right-wing radio people or the pretend anger from guys like Scarborough and nonsense like that.
I think all gay guys should get married. I think they should have to get married. They should have to adopt kids because, actually, I'm getting tired of their happy-go-lucky lifestyle. I've had it with them being all happy and in shape. I could look good in denim short shorts and combat boots, too, if I had all day to do leg presses at the gym.
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
Certain things should be yours to have when you work your way to the top.
I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died. ‘What are you doing here with that hammer?’
Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
You have to have lived some life. You've got to have paid some dues.
When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.
I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.
My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. an antler got stuck in my throat.