Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 904
Every time you see him, you only make yourself vulnerable to further heartache. Do you really need further proof that he’s getting on with his life without you?
Is it just me or is gas high?.. They ain’t been a drive-by for three weeks. You hear niggas going, “I can’t afford to kill that motherfucker! I can’t!”
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
“Because he wrote it in Sarcastica! If he had enjoyed himself, he would have used Good Times Roman.”
If you said more words to him than "mommy'll be back", he might know something!
You break up with us, we get drunk and then stand on your lawn, and then a cop comes. I'll be like, 'Oh, this is over! I get it. It's over. Gotcha.'
The currency of this show is your own head. They've established a certain structure here, but it's still in evolution.
Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show.
My daughter’s tricycle said “Some Assembly Required.” It came in a jar.
I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.
Black people love the Price Is Right. A negro might not know how to read, but he knows how much Rice-a-Roni costs.