Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 993
Your boyfriend worked your vagina like Rocky worked that side of beef for 45 minutes. A little blood is well within reason.
You don’t get a rebate at the end of your life for living with an idiot.
Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with.
It takes time though for owners and trainers to invest that additional purse money to start cultivating that better racing product.
Six months ago, in Saudi Arabia, a suicide bomber managed to get close to a Saudi prince. And he did this by hiding a bomb inside him; he managed to get explosives and a detonator inside his anus. And he detonated that bomb, killing nobody -- apart from himself -- a lot. When I first heard that story, my instinctive reaction was, that is definitely the world's greatest missed opportunity for a pull my finger joke.
I'm a bit of a potty mouth. My dad used to wash out my mouth with soap, but that was just to get rid of any traces of his DNA.
The best way to break up with a girl is like I'm taking off a band-aid. Slowly and in the shower.
I figured out years ago that the human species is totally fucked and has been for a long time. I also know that the sick, media-consumer culture in America continues to make this so-called problem worse. But the trick, folks, is not to give a fuck. Like me. I really don't care. I stopped worrying about all this temporal bullshit a long time ago. It's meaningless.
Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.
Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch.
If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
[If this is the answer, what is the question: Up To 18 Months] What is Stephen Hawking's personal best for the London marathon?