Quotes & Jokes by Godfrey

47 quotes

Tell your girlfriend or wife you love them everyday. Like I do!

My parents are immigrants. Came here with no money. Not this welfare thing. Welfare’s luxury… They came to the airport naked. “Can we get on the plane? I don’t want to show you where my passport is.”

I went to University of Illinois. Big school. 35,000 students. 800 black… I was the only black in every class. Hard to be absent.

Want to shut a racist white guy's mouth. Put him around Super human athletic black dudes.

I was always the class clown, although many teachers view the class clown as a trouble maker. But I always had good grades, so the only thing my parents were told was that while I was intelligent, I talked too much.

Be happy with your stereotype. Asians - that's the stereotype I want. Being the smartest person in the world? You're the smartest, what are you complaining about? You know what I get? 'Wassup?'

I'm still trying to understand the wearing off high heels at the airport.

Immigrants have been coming here for a long time. The Americans that are afraid of others coming were immigrants once themselves, so they have a lot of nerve. We have a lot of nerve as a country. The only people that should have xenophobia are Native Americans. Everyone else should shut up.

The weatherman gets to curse in Chicago - it's license, it's a law, I'm serious. 'What's the five day outlook? Holy shit. It's cold as fuck out, that's what it is.' And there's a picture of a snowman with his middle finger up.

You know, the energy I think I was just born with. I think I was just always like that as I kid; I was always real energetic.

I think anybody that protests at a comedy club is too easy. If you have problems and issues, you need to go to the White House and complain to Congress. Don’t come to a comedy club and bitch. That’s too easy.

If they played the world hunger commercials with some dope beats, they'd probably get mad donations son!

I wish people would understand that comedy is an art form, and that the same thing that makes a Picasso painting is the same thing that gives Bill Cosby the ability to do an hour of comedy on his kids.

I love when they show the really gay prisoner in prison shows. He's the cutest inside but you know on the street he would be the ugliest.

Even if you get a joke right you’ve done it a thousand times and sometimes there’s times where it just doesn’t work or someone doesn’t agree with you. And I want to show that. I have had more hecklers because that’s part of comedy is arguments, you know?