Quotes & Jokes by Godfrey

47 quotes

Tell your girlfriend or wife you love them everyday. Like I do!

I went to University of Illinois. Big school. 35,000 students. 800 black… I was the only black in every class. Hard to be absent.

Be happy with your stereotype. Asians - that's the stereotype I want. Being the smartest person in the world? You're the smartest, what are you complaining about? You know what I get? 'Wassup?'

My parents are immigrants. Came here with no money. Not this welfare thing. Welfare’s luxury… They came to the airport naked. “Can we get on the plane? I don’t want to show you where my passport is.”

If they played the world hunger commercials with some dope beats, they'd probably get mad donations son!

The weatherman gets to curse in Chicago - it's license, it's a law, I'm serious. 'What's the five day outlook? Holy shit. It's cold as fuck out, that's what it is.' And there's a picture of a snowman with his middle finger up.

Want to shut a racist white guy's mouth. Put him around Super human athletic black dudes.

Even if you get a joke right you’ve done it a thousand times and sometimes there’s times where it just doesn’t work or someone doesn’t agree with you. And I want to show that. I have had more hecklers because that’s part of comedy is arguments, you know?

I was always the class clown, although many teachers view the class clown as a trouble maker. But I always had good grades, so the only thing my parents were told was that while I was intelligent, I talked too much.

I wish people would understand that comedy is an art form, and that the same thing that makes a Picasso painting is the same thing that gives Bill Cosby the ability to do an hour of comedy on his kids.

You know, the energy I think I was just born with. I think I was just always like that as I kid; I was always real energetic.

People will bitch about anything. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t even have to necessarily be a serious topic like religion. It could be anything and people will have a problem. I’m telling you! It could be anything.

In the locker room. Some dude is staying a conversation with me. "Hey not while you're drying your nutsack".

You ever pull out money too big in front of a homeless dude? You're like, 'Let me give you some - oh, shit.' He like, 'Give me that $100.' 'No, here's some pennies.'

But some people want attention so bad they want you to see them angry at you.