Quotes & Jokes by Redd Foxx
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.
The definition of indecent – when it’s in long, and it’s in hard, and it’s in deep – it’s in decent.
I'm callin' you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.
You’re going into business with that Puerto Rican? You ought to call yourselves “Julio and Big Foolio.”
I ain’t from Africa. I’m from St. Louis.
I'm going to get my bud-nipper and start nipping some bud!
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Junk runs in the family. My granddad was a junk man in St. Louis and so was my uncle.
I ain't afraid to give you one across the lips!
I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.
You see, I can’t, on account of my Arthritis.
The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn't remind you of anything.
I'm gonna put five of these where you sneeze.
My first wife, I'll never forget her - and I've tried.