Quotes & Jokes by Redd Foxx


What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.

The definition of indecent – when it’s in long, and it’s in hard, and it’s in deep – it’s in decent.

I'm callin' you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.

You’re going into business with that Puerto Rican? You ought to call yourselves “Julio and Big Foolio.”

I ain’t from Africa. I’m from St. Louis.

I'm going to get my bud-nipper and start nipping some bud!

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Junk runs in the family. My granddad was a junk man in St. Louis and so was my uncle.

I ain't afraid to give you one across the lips!

I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.

You see, I can’t, on account of my Arthritis.

The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn't remind you of anything.

I'm gonna put five of these where you sneeze.

My first wife, I'll never forget her - and I've tried.