Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 707
In the original draft I was 27 and Peter was 55 in the script. That's not the same as a guy in his 40s and a dad in the end of his 70s. It's a different point in both our lives.
The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.
I trip off it. You know what's interesting about the makeup is when you get up close and you know he's been working on your face and you see where the makeup starts and it stops and how seamless it is. You could look at it for hours.
When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it.
Newt Gingrich wants to repeal child labor laws. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the man that we need to lead us into the 18th century.
When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back.
What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.
To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
So that this thing that aired in 1963 would result a few years later in personal bankruptcy, would result in having people be on edge with me, wondering when I'm going to blow up.
You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?
The new specialty at the Iowa fair this year is fried butter on a stick. Of course, if you’re like me and you want like to eat healthy, get your stick of butter baked.
Today’s topic: premenstrual syndrome, the bastards that inflict upon women, earthquakes and stuff that falls down!