Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 749
To all my fans who’s saying Donald Glover about to blow, just give me six months so you can say I told you so.
Fall in love with what you do for a living. I don't care what it is. It works.
We never talked to each other in my family. We communicated by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator.
If I thought about it, I could be bitter, but I don't feel like being bitter. Being bitter makes you immobile, and there's too much that I still want to do.
Movies are movies, and I don't think any of them are going to hurt the moral fiber of America and all that nonsense.
Normal people, who grow up with compassion, never amount to anything. They're the ones who end up gluing those little dots on the highway. Or, putting glue on the dots for the guy who glues dots on the highway. Screwed up people, who weren't coddled or raised with compassion, we get stuff done. Sure, we feel a little alone and abandoned, but, we're... very... happy. Why can't you love me, daddy?
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
When a guy says "I have no idea what you're talking about" it means "I'm thinking of exactly what you're saying I did while I lie to you."
I actually love Catholicism, it's my favourite form of clandestine global evil.
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.