Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 825
You don't have to have 14 committees and studios weighing in. Its really just you.
If I knew as a young man what I know now I still would have felt lost.
Harry Potter, he sends a message on Owl Mail while us poor old muggles have to make do with instantaneous emails and texting. Oh, if only we could be like you Harry Potter, with your four day owl delivery!
I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.
Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.
A new child in the house is a huge tourist attraction. It's like Disneyland, except there the lines are longer and no one brings casseroles.
I don’t have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
People that are “cautiously optimistic” are not interesting. I’d rather hang with someone who is “dangerously pessimistic.”
Heroin’s like having oral sex and, at the same time, a puppy’s licking your face. You don’t want that.
Capote, of course, addressed very similar themes to Good Night and Good Luck. Both films are about determined journalists defying obstacles in a relentless pursuit of the truth. Needless to say, both are period pieces.