Quotes & Jokes about Age / page 2
I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.
By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.
It's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still don't know whether to be like, 'Congratulations,' or 'Do you need a ride?'
I'm going to be fifty this year. Soon I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.
Once in a while, when I'm alone, I think about my age. I think, How many more years do I have on this earth? But I can't really conceive of dying. Somehow, in my head, I don't think I'll die. I know that everybody dies, of course. I just think that it'll never come to me. It's crazy, but there it is.
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
At my age, the only thing hot waiting for me in my dressing room is a bowl of soup.
Wear sturdy socks, learn to grow out of medium underwear and, if you must lie about your age, do it in the other direction. Tell people you're ninety-seven and they'll think you look fucking great.
I’m 42 and the age of a guy who has kids, so I guess I’m playing right where I’m supposed to be. I’m comfortable with that, but in the same breath I’d do something edgy. If someone came to me and offered me an edgy and funny story, then I’d do it.
Sex is great, but when you get to be my age, you've got to pace it a little bit. Otherwise you get tired.
Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.