Quotes & Jokes about New York / page 6

129 quotes

I like New York. This is the only city where you actually have to say things like, 'Hey, that's mine. Don't pee on that.'

I had my boy in Boston on Easter Sunday. That kills me, from a sports perspective. He's a Boston baby and I'm a New York guy.

It was so cold in New York City today that the Statue of Liberty had her torch under her dress.

In New York, you are constantly faced with this very urgent decision that you have to make, about every twenty minutes...you have to decide, immediately, you have to go "Ohmigod. Do I look at the most beautiful woman in the world or the craziest guy in the world?"

Chapter One. He was as tough and romantic as the city he loved. Behind his black-rimmed glasses was the coiled sexual power of a jungle cat. Oh, I love this. New York was his town, and it always would be.

Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure?

I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.

In New York, Catholic groups have forced an art gallery to shut down an exhibition of a six-foot image of Jesus in chocolate. So, the Archbishop of New York was very upset. He said, “It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.”

I started writing this feature comedy in New York - a Chris Farley vehicle. The script was decent. When I got to LA, I met some new friends in film school and had them read my script and give me notes.

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

In New York, the principal leisure activity is internal bleeding.

I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi somewhere, Ohio somewhere, to New York City for the first time, he don't have the street smarts. You can take him.

If I get busted in New York, the freest city in the world, that will be the end of my career.

A New York City judge struck down a proposed law to ban sodas larger than 16 ounces. I think Mayor Bloomberg should spend his time trying to improve stuff like education. New York needs a better education system if kids didn’t figure out they could get around the 16-ounce soda ban by simply purchasing two 12-ounce sodas.

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?