Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1025
There's something weird, something phenomenally dreary about Christian singing. The Gospel singers are the only singers that just go crazy, joyous and it's fucking amazing! And it's born out of kidnapping, imprisonment, slavery, murder, all of that - and this joyous singing!
(In response to ‘Things You’re Unlikely to Hear on a Quiz Show’) “Look at what you could have won, if you went to school.”
As long as they're homophobic behind closed doors, and don't hurt anyone, I'm fine with it.
Chocolate covered peanuts, chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered pretzels... Chocolate. So afraid to be alone.
In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.
I just loved comedy as a kid and I think at some point, it just occurred to me that you could try it, and I did.
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.
As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.