Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1037
A Catholic priest who’s been sending threatening notes to Conan O’Brien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It just goes to show you that people can become obsessed with redheads.
A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.
The great thing about Los Angeles is that you can get so much money in this town by constantly failing. You can get a lot of television deals that don't go anywhere, but you still get paid.
A lot of times when a package says Open Other End, I purposely open the end where it says that.
The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.
If you have to work at feeling lust towards your significant other maybe it is time to get a day job.
When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
I feel so fortunate to be one of the lucky ones who is so grateful and appreciative to know such great synonyms for thankful.
(On his long-term goals.) I want to have more courage, conquer my fear of lightning and, by my 40th birthday, be drinking 50% less of my current alcohol consumption. I also want to meet Barack Obama, or take significant steps to getting into Outer Space.