Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 395
I don’t know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.
Making people laugh is giving, and it's healing, too, when people can go up to the movies and forget about their problems. It's a good thing. That's why I want to work.
First I asked her what time it is, right? Tomorrow I get to ask her the date, the day after that she's all over me. That's how it works, you play it slow.
Unlicensed, illegal immigrants are the safest drivers on the road.
I'm catholic in the same way, that if a cow was born in a tree, it's a bird!
I know what you guys are thinking: Oh Bo, you tackle such taboo subjects, you know, is there anything off limits? Anything you don't find funny? Anything you think is too sacred to laugh at? And the truth is, there is... White people. I think we've been through enough...
You do a clean show and it's over and the audience have enjoyed themselves and you've enjoyed yourself, and you haven't had to resort to shock.
Take a drink from the water fountain. Water's running nice and brown. Tastes like an iron mine.
The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy.
80% of the women who were asked if they fake orgasms said yes. Actually, they said "Yes! Oh God, Yes!"