Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 863
Around comics, I've always been known for, oh, that's not dirty, this is dirty.
Gandhi, who went to Wendy’s and asked, "Where’s the belief?" Never got a dinner!
I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same time, I'm still being J. B. Smoove. I'm not changing up my style, I'm not changing up how I think, what's funny to me, my delivery, the way I carry myself.
Mutations are exciting. They try to fix 'em when they come out. Did you see the two-headed baby they killed last month when they tried to cut it apart? That was hilarious!
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
So I've learnt that the world is 4500 million years old. If you're very religious, then it's not 4500 million years old, it's 6000 years old. One of these is not correct.
What's with this sudden choice of disorders we get right now? When I was a kid, we just had crazy people. That's it, just crazy people.
James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!
After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.
Mirabelle is attractive; it's just that she is never the first or second girl chosen.
She had destroyed whatever was between us by making a profound gaffe: She met me.