Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 943
Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine’s Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
China is now expected to surpass Japan as the 2nd richest country in the world. They could become the richest, but that’s only if we pay them the money we owe them, and that’s not going to happen.
The successful golfers - they're like astronauts or pilots. They have that demeanor that they can focus and stay within that one moment and nothing distracts them. That's not me.
We've taken what was just once a racetrack and made it a multifaceted gaming destination for the entire region.
While my fervent hope is we can get the entire amount. I think we need to have some idea what we would lose.
In talking to girls I could never remember the right sequence of things to say. I'd meet a girl and say, "Hi, was it good for you too?" If a girl spent the night, I'd wake up in the morning and then try to get her drunk.
In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around.
It's not even about black and white anymore, because so many people are from mixed backgrounds and mixed ethnicities, and it's just a great time to be able to pull all that together.
One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!