Quotes & Jokes by Don Rickles
I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.
You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.
I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important.
You lose your energy, you lose that excitement and it gets the audience up.
Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.
Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.
I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.
No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.