Joseph Cotten, who said, "You know how I got my name? Sammy Davis picked it for me." Never got a dinner!
Quotes and Jokes by Red Buttons
Top 15 Quotes (out of 123)
Ben Hur, who said to his sister Ben Him, "We'd better swap names before they start calling me Ben Gay!" Never got a dinner!
Uncle Remus, who said to Uncle Ben, "You're a credit to your rice." Never got a dinner!
Crispus Attucks, who said, "Don't shoot till you see the whites!" Never got a dinner!
Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn't want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner!
James Cagney, who said to Mickey Mouse, "You dirty rat!" Never got a dinner!
Sophia Loren, whose new baby asked her, "Is all that for me?" Never got a dinner!
Sure, I've gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees... I've fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, and take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, poor circulation, hardly feel my hands or feet anymore, can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, but... thank God, I still have my Florida driver’s license!
Dean Martin’s great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, who said to Eli Whitney, "I see the cotton, but where’s the gin?" Never got a dinner!
Dolly Parton, who said to Mrs. Olson, "Yes, they're mountain-grown." Never got a dinner!
Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, "Maybe we're white." Never got a dinner!
Eve, who asked Adam, "Does this fig leaf make me look fat?" Never got a dinner! (Got an apple, but never got a dinner.)
Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!
Donald Trump’s mother, who said, "Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber’s chair! " Never got a dinner!
J. Paul Getty, who still hasn't been buried - they keep finding oil! Never got a dinner!