Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 839
Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.
I am the comedy version of ambidextrous. I’m working with my left and right hand. I’m the two-sided coin. I’m all of those metaphors you can think of. I’m the interracial couple. I’m BET and CBS.
I joined an astrology club and every week we meet and discuss the stars. This week we're discussing Paul Newman.
President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns and capricious whimsy of verbs, the strutting pageantry of the adjective and the flitting evanescence of the adverb, all kept safe and orderly by those reliable little policemen, punctuation marks. Wow! Think I got my ass kicked in high school?
After every horror we’re told, “Now the healing can begin.” No. There’s no healing – just a short pause before the next horror.
Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.
The self-prepared dinner is a great time killer for lonely people and as much time should be spent on it as possible.
He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.
It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker.
If you’ve got a cat and a leg, you’ve got a happy cat. If you’ve got a cat and two legs, you’ve got a party.