Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 966
Police blog or entertainment news, it's just good to see your name in print.
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'
I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years.
We wanted something different this year. We're still keeping the musicianship, as opposed to it being a jam band fest. There's also a lot more standard bluegrass acts and we've never had an act like Bobby McFerrin before. You don't have to be a bluegrass artist - you just have to be a great artist to fit in at Telluride.
You're still young. Being a true loser takes years of inaptitude.
And now that you have a child you have to clean up your act, 'cause you can't drink anymore. You can't come home drunk and go, "Hey, here`s a little switch: Daddy's gonna throw up on you!"
Michelangelo’s girlfriend, who said to Angelo, "Forget the paint – let’s put a mirror on the ceiling." Never got a dinner!
Now, I tell you that for two reasons. One, to brag. And two, to tell you she wants to retake the test. I go, "what are you, stupid?" I wish my SAT scores had four digits in it! That equal 13.
Christmases were terrible, not like nowadays when kids get everything. My sister got a miniature set of perfumes called ‘Ample’. It was tiny, but even I could see where my dad had scraped off the S.
I just know keeping track of what I'm doing and where I'm going is important to me.
I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old.
But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.
People see me in the suit and they know I'm not fooling anyone, they know I'm rock and roll through and through.