Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 308
Kiefer Sutherland is spending the holidays behind bars, so for Christmas he’ll need crossword puzzles, stationery, magazines, a cork and a rape whistle.
This film is only for Madagascar and Iran, neither of which follow American copyright law.
The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it’s over - it’s over. No more confusion!
Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?
I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
Two old maids on a beach, streaker ran past, one had a stroke, the other one couldn’t reach.
Kim Kardashian is single again. Hey, great. Maybe that will give the NBA players something to do during the lockout.
You might be a redneck if you use your fishing license as a form of ID.
I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.
McDonalds announced it’s considering a more humane way of slaughtering its animals. You know they fatten them up and then kill them. You know the same thing they do to their customers, isn’t it?
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.