Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 357
I am now half Asian. I have learned all the ancient teachings of Buddi.
Any guy that refers to dating women as "the hunt" or being "on the prowl" should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.
I love mullets. The other day, in Pittsburgh, I saw the greatest mullet I've ever seen. I can't describe it. It was just the mullet of all time; complete 'business in the front, party in the back.' I've never seen anything like it.
I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.
In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in high school.
Fuck that. If it's stupid, change it... If it's a dumb law, don't have it.
Don't fucking work hard you die at the end, didn't anyone ever tell you that?
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Orson Welles, who said to Anita Bryant, "Stop picketing me. What I said was I was a thespian." Never got a dinner!
Any issues my parents went through are very prominent in the movie, even though they enjoyed a happy relationship. The story actually started for me when my mom told me a few years ago that because she got a job, she never made it to the World's Fair in New York, and that's a missed opportunity that always stayed with her.