Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 434
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
When I used to watch vaudevillian impressionists, people like Rich Little or Frank Gorshin, I always felt like the voice was the only point. I didn't want to do that. I wanted to be of the Robin Williams or Jonathan Winters model, where observation and storytelling was important.
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
Kevin James is going to do a couple of specials. One’s called It’s Getting Muggy In Here.
I hate that people assume guys are the only ones to want sex. Girls want sex, too, and that shouldn't be a problem.
In addition to listening to the audience’s laugh, you want to listen to their silence. Is it bored or interested silence? The silence is quieter and filled with energy when they’re interested. You can hear a pin drop. When they’re bored, you can always hear it.
I know you think I'm crazy. I go into a different room and I actually felt like it takes me to a better place, positive instead of negative.
I just always loved stand-up. It's like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of people laughs together. Say something else, they laugh again. The fact that people come to see that and participate in that... I don't know, it's just like magic.
George Bush says that gay people getting married would violate the sanctity of marriage. Is anybody here married? Does it feel like a gift from God to you?
I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there's a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to the hood. My buddy says to me "you think he's been hunting?" "Nope, They're probably giving them away with the purchase of every jeep." Here's your sign!
I was totally involved in Bobby's World from the time we started the idea to sitting with the artists on how he would look, to the script meetings, the music, the lyrics, the songs.
Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.