Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 573
It's been a struggle for me because I had a chance to be white and refused.
For this being the holiday season everyone at the mall is pissed. Time to shop online.
I've got a big closet of scripts, and a big stack of scripts on the side of my desk, because you get a whole bunch. Nothing's going to be perfect, and I realize that; but I am a perfectionist, so you go through a lot of stuff.
Sometimes the only solution is figuring out a bigger problem to focus on.
A new survey shows that married women are having 40 percent more extramarital sex than 20 years ago. Scientists say that number drops significantly when they subtract your mom.
With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.
Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
I had written in another draft a completely different kind of fight, but they said they couldn't afford to shoot it. They needed a fight scene, though, so I was told to put a fight scene in, but not the one I had written.
A Rubik’s cube is equal to a drag queen. It’s really colorful, but I don’t wanna do it.
Esther, warn me before you come in so I have a chance to cover all of the mirrors!
I want to see gay couples stuck with their significant other at Home Depot with that far away look in their eye, get me out of here.
I will never understand how a mother can kill her own baby and not get away with it.